


Proof of Love OR I Really DO Love You (and I'm going to prove it)

by Annedavies



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur proposes (again), Arthur realises he's been a prat and feels guilty, Fluff, Gaius gives Arthur his permission to marry Merlin, Gwaine is alive but Leon died instead (because that happened in the other story), Gwen Approves, Gwen and Arthur have definitely split, Idiots in Love, M/M, Merlin's broken heart is fixed, Mutual Pining, Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Post-Canon Fix-It, arthur cries, fix-it sequel to I Love You by Ladymerthur, merlin cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annedavies/pseuds/Annedavies
Summary: Straight after the events of ‘I Love You’ by Ladymerthur, Merlin has second thoughts about agreeing to marry Arthur, not trusting his feelings are truly returned because of Arthur’s prior treatment of him. He decides to leave a long note telling him everything and to return home to Ealdor for some time to think. Will Arthur realise what he stands to lose before it’s too late? Will Gwen manage to talk sense into either of them? Will he be able to convince Merlin that his feelings for him are genuine?
Relationships: Gwaine/Gwen (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Percival/Vivian (Merlin)
Kudos: 13





	Proof of Love OR I Really DO Love You (and I'm going to prove it)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to I love you by ladymerthur https://archiveofourown.org/works/3284531 
> 
> Please read that one before reading this one.
> 
> After I read ladymerthur's story and all the stuff about jealous, pratty Arthur, I thought, 'They can't possibly go into a marriage with all that tension! They need a heartfelt chat!' And I was also worried that we hadn't heard much from Gwen about it. I needed a GENUINELY happy ending which I just didn't get from this story's prequel. NOT criticising ladymerthur's writing, but just thought Arthur was being more like the prat he was in Season 1 rather than Season 5.
> 
> That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
> 
> P.S. I do not own Merlin, or any of the characters or actors. Wish I did though.
> 
> This is also my first fic. Please be gentle! But feel free to comment.

Merlin left Arthur’s chambers feeling slightly giddy after accepting his very sudden marriage proposal. He needed to talk to Derek, the young man he’d been seeing, and tell him that the love of his life had decided to make his feelings known and he couldn’t continue to see him. It was for the best anyway; Derek needed and deserved so much more than Merlin could give him and didn’t deserve to be used to ease Merlin’s loneliness.

An hour later Merlin felt a little bit lighter. Derek had understood the situation completely, wished Merlin all the best and the two had vowed to remain friends. Merlin didn’t go back to Arthur’s chambers: he needed time to process the events of the last few days.

He got ready for bed and climbed under his thin blanket. Then he started to think…

What if Arthur had asked him to marry him just because he was the king and therefore, could? What if he genuinely didn’t really feel the same way Merlin did about him? And if he really had broken up with Gwen (who just over a month ago, he firmly stated that he was in love with and therefore the love he’d confessed to feeling for Merlin when he thought he was going to die was only that of a friend), why hadn’t either of them said anything and why wasn’t it official?

Really, since just before his and Arthur’s return to Camelot and for the last month, Arthur had mostly treated Merlin with nothing but disdain; how could he trust a man who had already (perhaps unwittingly) been breaking his heart, not to break it further?

With a heavy heart, he decided that accepting Arthur’s proposal may have been a mistake knowing all their unresolved issues.

The magic wasn’t an issue anymore: Arthur had already accepted it, been shown it could be used for good and told Merlin it was beautiful. No. It was everything else that needed resolution.

He decided to temporarily return to Ealdor to give himself some space and time away from the king so he could think. But not without leaving a note.

Half an hour later, he crept silently into Arthur’s chambers with the note and the ring Arthur had given him, leaving them both on Arthur’s desk. He looked at his beautiful king fast asleep, and adjusted his blanket over the other man’s exposed feet and silently slipped out into the corridor. Back in Gaius’ chambers, he packed some things for the journey and then made arrangements for another manservant to take care of Arthur while he was gone.

A few hours later with a heavy heart he mounted his horse and set off for Ealdor. He not only needed space from Arthur, but he hadn’t seen his mother Hunith for a long time and had really missed her.

\---------------------- 8 -----------------------

Arthur woke up before the sun had risen. He had slept well. Merlin had agreed to marry him, despite the misgivings the manservant had expressed concerning Guinevere, Arthur’s now former wife. Granted, they had decided to part a month ago and she had assured him that if he really loved Merlin (and she had known this from the start, because she herself had been deeply in love with Lancelot) that they should not let her stand in their way. She had assured Arthur that she loved both him and Merlin and only wished them happiness. She had been Merlin’s first friend when he arrived in Camelot and at the time she had developed a bit of a crush on him herself. She had confided in her former husband about this and they had both giggled. It seemed that Merlin’s natural charm and adorable good looks drew people to him.

So Arthur was surprised when he saw something gold on his desk weighing down a piece of parchment. It was a note from Merlin along with the Pendragon ring he had given him. What he read stunned him:

_Dear Arthur,_

_I have loved you since we met on the training field and you tried to take my head off with a mace. I will always love and want you more than life itself, but I can’t marry you, not right now. It’s too soon after your parting from Gwen. She was my first friend in Camelot and I really don’t want to hurt her._

_This has also confused me; On our way back to Camelot when I raised the issue, you said you declared your love for me only because you were dying and also kissed because you wanted to. Yet you said you were in love with Gwen! And now? You say you’ve parted from her and she’s OK with everything, but why did you only tell me AFTER you first asked me to marry you? I understand the awkwardness but keeping me in the dark about what happened between you and Gwen, as well as your usual prattish behaviour (even after you **apologised** for it when you thought you were dying) led me to believe that my feelings for you weren’t reciprocated and it slowly broke my heart. Why hasn’t Gwen said anything to me and why haven’t you made your divorce (if indeed that’s what you’ve done) official? If we are to have a relationship, how can I trust you not to continue breaking my heart? How do I know you haven’t broken Gwen’s? You said that you were each other’s second choice, but Lancelot is dead and she chose you anyway! _

_On the subject of Lancelot, I felt I would be dishonouring his memory if I didn’t tell you the truth about what happened when you caught him and Gwen together. Morgana brought him back as a Shade and forced him to seduce Gwen. Neither of them had any control and she doesn’t know. I know you forgave her, but both of you deserve to know the truth because she mistakenly thinks she betrayed you. But it was all Morgana’s doing because she wanted to be Queen herself and she didn’t want Gwen on the throne beside you._

_I also talked to Derek and told him that I could no longer have a relationship with him, not just because you’d suddenly propose marriage to me, but also because I could see his feelings got me were overwhelmingly similar to my feelings for you, and even though he’s been hoping for real romance from me, the way I’ve always felt about you keeps me from feeling that towards him. I would have felt like Albion’s biggest hypocrite if I’d kept this liaison up. He deserves better – he deserves the chance to find someone who can reciprocate his feelings. I’m sorry for using him but it was making me feel a little less lonely._

_I love you more than anything and I really DO want to marry you one day, but until your parting from Gwen becomes common knowledge I will feel that we are sneaking around and others are probably going to think you’re being unfaithful to her, although rationally I know this assumption is foolish._

_I’m returning to Ealdor for a few days. I haven’t seen my mother for a long time and I’ve really missed her and it’ll give me time to process everything that’s happened._

_Love,_

_Merlin_

Arthur read the letter twice, second time with tears running down his face. He said to himself, “Oh gods Merlin, what I have I put you through? No wonder you seemed so reluctant to believe anything I said about marrying you!”.

He lamented, “I’ve been a prat. I remember apologising to you on what I thought was my deathbed for the way I treated you, yet I did not make good on that apology. What a hypocrite I’ve been! I didn’t mean to make you believe I didn’t return your feelings and I’m sorry!”

He waited for his tears to dry and thought. What was he to do now? He washed his face and accepted his breakfast from the temporary replacement George (the manservant who always graciously covered for Merlin when he was absent). He couldn’t hide his gloom, because George wasn’t Merlin, he didn’t wake the king with a cheery ‘rise and shine lazy daisy’; he was prim, proper, always observed royal protocol and was dull and boring. He missed Merlin terribly already, and worried that he had royally messed things up between them because of his behaviour. He decided to dress himself, and then go and see the one person who could help him make sense of the situation. He needed to talk to Gwen. Even though they’d parted, he knew that as Merlin’s first friend in Camelot, she’d know what to do.

\----------------------- 8 -----------------------

Merlin rode his horse until midday and then decided to stop briefly for lunch. He pondered for a few minutes on whether or not he was doing the right thing by himself or whether he was looking a gift horse in the mouth. No. He decided in the end that whatever happened between him and Arthur as a result of this decision would be for the best. For all his prattish behaviour, especially over the last month, Arthur valued honesty, and Merlin had vowed that honesty was what he was going to give his king from that fateful day at Camlann when he’d been too late to stop Mordred and told Arthur about his magic.

He finished his bread and cheese and took a few swigs from his waterskin, packed his saddlebag again and remounted his horse. With a new determination and resolve, he continued his journey to Ealdor.

What would be would be.

\------------------------- 8 ----------------------

Arthur decided to go and pummel a training dummy before going to see his ex-wife. After crying inconsolably with grief and guilt over how he’d been such an idiot not to notice how his treatment of Merlin had affected the magical manservant and the love of his life, he was now feeling furious at himself for a) being so blind to Merlin’s suffering and b) hurting his beautiful, precious and gentle beloved in the first place. The idea that he had broken Merlin’s heart, possibly irreparably, just didn’t bear thinking about.

He needed to channel his anger or Gwen would get the brunt of it if he didn’t. He knew he could also confide in Gwaine and Percival about everything, because while the break-up with Gwen hadn’t been made official, the two remaining Round Table knights knew the former couple intimately and were also supportive of any relationship Arthur would seek with Merlin. He wasn’t worried about hurting Gwen by going to her for advice concerning her former colleague either, because things hadn’t been right between she and Arthur for a while and she’d realised he’d had a close relationship with Merlin (even though so far it had been platonic, being prince then king and manservant) far longer than she and the king had been a couple. It helped that they had made a mutual and amicable decision to part and that Merlin was her best friend amongst the servants, not to mention that he’d saved both her and Arthur’s lives on numerous occasions. Arthur still loved her as a friend of course and her good heart and compassion towards everyone, even Morgana and Uther, gave her all the qualities necessary for a queen. But Merlin was very similar and Arthur had always loved him with or without his magic.

He finished his sparring session with the practice dummy and decided he needed some lunch before going to see Gwen.

\----------------- 8 ------------------

After a brief lunch, Arthur decided to look for Gwen. In spite of their parting as husband and wife, she was still Queen in all but status and still had chambers near to his own. He grabbed Merlin’s note from his desk and ran to his former wife’s chambers. He took a deep breath to calm himself and knocked her door. Gwen rushed to it and answered straightaway.

“Arthur! What’s the matter?” she said. He was looking out of breath and very distressed.

He couldn’t find the words to explain what had happened and was sure Gwen would be very annoyed on Merlin’s behalf. He showed her the letter instead.

“Oh Guinevere I think I’ve ruined things with Merlin already,” he sighed.

She read the letter through quickly and said “Oh Merlin! Always thinking of me!” She focused on Arthur again and pulled him into a hug, saying “I’m sure that’s not the case. Anyway, he probably thinks he’s ruined things too”.

“What do I do Guinevere? He’s not convinced that you and I have actually parted and thinks that marrying me would hurt you, and he’s not certain his feelings for me are genuinely reciprocated because I’ve been such a prat, even after I apologised to him for treating him badly when I thought I was dying, and he doesn’t trust me not to break his heart!” The words were tumbling out and was starting to tear up now. “Gods, I am the worst future husband ever”, he finished, giving a choked sob. Gods, he was weepy today!

Gwen rubbed circles over his back soothingly and said, “Shh.. Arthur, he just knows you value honesty and needed to give you that before starting a marriage with you. I’m sure you know what to do about that.”

“But how could I not have noticed how upset he was and why did I treat him like this when I didn’t do the same with you when we were courting?” he asked.

“Maybe because you’re just different when you’re trying to impress a woman?”, she asked. “Maybe the two of you are just used to bantering with each other – yes, I know you apologised to him for all the insults when you were mortally wounded – but it’s hard to break old habits? Or maybe you were worried that he was going to die as a result of taking the poison from your body into his to save your life and you were going to lose him? Maybe it was guilt over me? Maybe it was _all_ of these things? I know you haven’t got the emotional range of a teaspoon even if _you_ don’t”.

Arthur started to feel more reassured but said “I tried to tell him things had been over between you and me for a while, but I don’t think he believed me”.

“Well Arthur, I think I can convince him of that, if he doesn’t believe _me_ , who will he believe? I’ll pack some things and set off for Ealdor after dinner”.

“But how do I convince him that I return his love Guinevere? He has no reason to believe me!”

“Have you actually told him you love him since your near-death experience?” asked Gwen.

“I told him that you knew I wanted him all along on the day I proposed. Oh no!”, he put his head in his hands, “That’s not the same thing is it? And worse, when he asked what I was doing kissing him and stroking his face on the way back to Camelot, I said that I did it because I wanted to, and then tried to explain that I only loved him as a friend and that I was still in love with you! No wonder he’s been so confused and upset! I really have done my best to unintentionally break his heart! And I forced him to end things with this other man he was seeing! He’s too good for me. You _both_ are”, lamented Arthur.

“Arthur, don’t sell yourself short, you now know what you need to do. Go and ask permission from Gaius; he’s the closest thing Merlin has to a father and then announce our parting. I’ll make sure Merlin knows that we have genuinely broken up and that I wish you all the best”.

“Thankyou Guinevere. This is exactly why you are such a great queen.” Arthur smiled, his first genuine smile that day.

“Merlin will make a great king or prince consort. You are both the best friends a queen could ask for and I love you both very much”, Gwen squeezed his hand and smiled.

\-------------------- 8 -----------------

Arthur headed to the physician’s chambers where he found Gaius, who had just returned from visiting his sweetheart Alice and was unpacking what little he had taken with him. He hadn’t had to ask for Gwen’s father Tom’s permission, because unfortunately Uther had executed him for unwittingly aiding the sorcerer Tauren. Tom had been threatened into it, but to Uther, that didn’t matter: it still made him guilty. Her late brother Elyan had granted his approval without needing to be asked, so Arthur was naturally going to be apprehensive about asking Gaius, especially because he’d already been a total clotpole to Merlin during the month between getting back to Camelot (and in the days before to be fair) and his impulsive proposal.

Gaius looked up at the king from his unpacking. “Sire! Are you looking for Merlin? I’m afraid he’s not here.”

“I know Gaius. He’s gone back to Ealdor to see Hunith” _and have some space away from me_ he thought sadly, not voicing it. “But it’s my fault too!” sighed Arthur, showing him Merlin’s note.

Gaius quickly scanned the contents of the note and said “Arthur, you just need to communicate your feelings for him more clearly. Yes, I know they’re real. You wouldn’t have asked him to marry you otherwise, even if you _were_ a bit impulsive.”

“I know I should have led with my parting from Guinevere before asking him, but it all came out so suddenly!” said Arthur.

“Don’t worry about it Arthur, I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other, pretty much since your father made him your manservant. I know what you mean to each other. I also noticed that things between yourself and Guinevere had not been right for a while. Yes you loved each other and still do, but it’s a loving friendship rather than a romantic love”, said Gaius. “I think the reason Merlin hasn’t really noticed it himself is because Guinevere his his friend and he doesn’t want her hurt, and his life has overwhelmingly revolved around you for the past decade. You’re his world and he is yours. And I’m sure I’m not the first person to say it, but you’re two sides of the same coin”.

“Yes, I’ve heard that somewhere before”, said Arthur with a chuckle. “I’m here to ask your permission before I propose again. Properly this time.”

“My dear boy, you already have it!” said Gaius. “I have always considered you, Merlin and Guinevere to be the children I never had. Morgana too, whatever wrong she did. Your happiness and theirs is all I could ask for. Now it’s only the council you have to square everything with.”

“Thank you Gaius, I’ll see if any of them are available after dinner” said Arthur.

\------------------- 8 --------------------

Merlin stopped his horse as evening fell. He was already on the Essetirian border and Ealdor wasn’t very far from it. He looked around for signs of bandits but saw none so he unrolled his bedroll from his pack and sat on top of it to take out some cooking equipment. He’d found a spell he could use to expand the space in his pack so he could carry any equipment he needed; this was especially useful when he was travelling alone and the spell also had the rather nifty side effect of making the pack stay lightweight. He had also packed himself a crossbow so he could hunt for meat. He was rather proficient with a crossbow even if his talents with a sword still left a bit to be desired, although this had improved in recent years with some patient training from Arthur. He set off to hunt, nothing too big because even though he would have what was left over for breakfast, he was still only one person, powerful warlock or not. He saw a big rabbit and aimed the crossbow. He struck it with a direct hit and it stiffened and fell to the ground. He briefly thought that Arthur would be impressed with him and it made his heart swell and his chest ache. He vowed to leave things to the king for now. He used his magic to build and light a fire and ready his cooking pot while also casting a simple spell on the rabbit to prepare it for the pot along with some vegetables and seasoning he’d requested from the palace kitchens before his departure.

He ate the freshly prepared stew, saving half of it for breakfast the following morning and then tucked himself into the blanket on his bedroll and slept until first light. He would be in Ealdor by mid-morning.

\----------------- 8 -----------------

Arthur thought how he was going to approach the matter of his Gwen’s parting to the council. It was too short notice to gather them all to the Round Table and he needed to set off for Ealdor himself in the morning if he had any hope of letting Merlin know how serious his feelings were. However, he could go to the library and find Geoffrey of Monmouth.

When he got there, he saw the old man at his desk, studying a book as usual. “Good evening Sir Geoffrey”, he opened.

Geoffrey looked up from his book, “Your Majesty, what can I do for you?”

“I was hoping to talk to you about a personal matter. _Two_ personal matters in fact. But the council needs to know and it’s too short notice to get them all assembled this evening before I go on a very important personal journey tomorrow morning. I hope what I have to tell you will not shock you too much”, said Arthur. “Guinevere and I have broken up. It was a mutual and perfectly amicable decision. Things had not been quite right between us for weeks before we went to fight Morgana at Camlann. You see we were both in love with other people, she with the late Sir Lancelot and I with my manservant Merlin. I know my feelings for him are unconventional and some may be somewhat opposed but I’m the King. I nearly died at Camlann and Merlin saved my life. I therefore feel that life is too short to deny my feelings any longer. I already proposed to him two nights ago, but I didn’t do it quite the way I planned to. I’m going to do it properly this time. He has gone to see his mother in Ealdor and I need to make my journey there tomorrow so I can ask him”, said Arthur.

Geoffrey put a reassuring hand on Arthur’s arm and said, “yes I noticed that things between yourself and the queen were somewhat changed Sire. As for Merlin, he’s been in here most days for the last decade, either gathering books for Gaius or studying for hours on end. He’s a nice polite young man. I may not get out of this library that often but he’s been at council meetings with you often enough for me to notice the connection between you. Don’t worry, Gaius and myself will assemble the rest of the council in the morning. You go and get some sleep so you can be alert for your journey to your future husband’s home”.

“Thankyou Sir Geoffrey” said Arthur.

“Not to worry sire. A happy King makes for a strong kingdom, something I always said to your father. He too married for love. Goodnight”, said Geoffrey.

\----------------- 8 -------------------

Arthur made his way back to his chambers for the night and asked George to draw him a bath. He needed to be as relaxed as possible so he could get a good night’s sleep so he could be alert for his journey to Ealdor the following morning. He undressed and got in, letting the hot water soothe his tired body. As soon as he got out he dried quickly to preserve the warmth and got into bed, slowly drifting off into dreams of a certain raven-haired, blue-eyed warlock.

\------------------ 8 -----------------

Merlin arrived in his home village around midday after waking up at first light, re-heating his leftover stew for breakfast and using his magic to clean up his bowl and cooking equipment before conjuring a bowl of warm water to use for freshening up his face and hands. He knocked on the door of his childhood home, brimming with excitement about telling Hunith everything that had transpired in Camelot since they had last seen each other.

Hunith answered the door and pulled Merlin into a hug. “Merlin! This is a nice surprise. How are you?”

“Just really glad to see you mum,” he said. “I’ve got so much to tell you”.

So she led him into the house and sat down with some lunch and cups of tea, and as he told her about the battle for Camelot during Morgana’s second attempt to steal the throne (which had occurred just after Gwen had come to Ealdor to stay during her banishment), Morgana’s kidnap of her and manipulation with the mandrakes in the Dark Tower (including their joint ill-fated attempts on Arthur’s life), disguising himself as the Dolma so Morgana’s enchantment on the queen could be removed, the events of Camlann and his tearful magic reveal to a dying Arthur (who was angry at first and then quickly accepted it), their joint confessions of love and then the king’s sudden awkwardness, prattishness and jealousy. She listened with wide, astonished eyes (at the failed assassination attempts and the magic confession) and then chuckled with mirth at the thought of him being disguised as an old woman. Then he told her about the sudden marriage proposal and his subsequent crisis of faith in Arthur’s feelings for him.

He said dejectedly, tears suddenly welling in his eyes, “I’ve ruined things between me and Arthur, haven’t I?” he sniffed.

“No, I’m sure you haven’t sweetheart. He’s probably worried that he’s done the same thing. He wouldn’t have asked you to marry him if he didn’t return your feelings – he’s just been a bit impulsive, that’s all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes knocking on your door in the next few days, desperate to make things up to you”, said Hunith, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re two sides of the same coin. You always find each other.”

“Thanks mum”, said Merlin, drying his eyes. It felt good to be home.

\--------------- 8 ---------------

The afternoon and evening passed in a happy haze of dinner and more talk, and Merlin lay down on his bedroll by Hunith’s fire and slowly drifted off to sleep, lost in dreams of a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed king with a gorgeous smile that was always reserved just for him.

\------------------ 8 -----------------

Hunith and Merlin had just finished breakfast the following morning when they heard a knock on the door. Merlin rushed to answer it and was surprised to see who it was.

“Gwen!”, he exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. “it’s so good to see you. You didn’t come on your own did you? Bandits may have been lurking! Although it was quiet when I left Camelot”.

“No Merlin. I brought Gwaine for company. He’s tending to the horses. It’s good to see you too. I saw Arthur. He showed me your note and said you left in a hurry”, said Gwen.

“Oh”, said Merlin. “I’ve ruined things haven’t I? I didn’t want to hurt you and I really wasn’t sure of his feelings for me”.

“Well, I’m here because I offered to come and tell you that Arthur and I have definitely been over for at least a month, and things hadn’t been right between us for a few months before that. I love you for caring enough about me to worry, but there’s really no need”, said Gwen.

“Gwen, you were my first friend when I arrived in Camelot. There will never be a time when I _don’t_ care enough to worry about you”, said Merlin, “and I think I sort of noticed that something had changed between the two of you, but I thought you were still happy together! And Arthur didn’t tell me you had broken up until _after_ he asked me to marry him, which is why I was hesitant at first”.

“Well I don’t know why he didn’t lead with that or indeed, keep you in the loop as it was happening. I know he was going to do the traditional thing and ask Gaius for permission to marry you, and then ask Geoffrey to square everything with the council, so if that’s not enough evidence of his feelings… well it’s just that he is a bit emotionally constipated sometimes and he blurts things out on impulse, but for him it’s always been you just like it was Lancelot for me. You’re his world and Lancelot was mine. Well, obviously Lancelot’s dead – by the way I’m glad you cleared things up about that awful day when we were caught together. I know Arthur eventually forgave me, but I’m relieved to know that it wasn’t really us acting of our own free will. But I still can’t bring myself to hate Morgana. I know you miss Lancelot too; his death affected the two of us the most, and Morgana bringing him back as a Shade was an insult to his memory. Thank goodness you notice things other people don’t or at least notice them quicker. I still feel guilty about what happened after I got imprisoned in the Dark Tower”, said Gwen with a shudder.

“Why?”, asked Merlin, “it wasn’t your fault!”

She continued, “Arthur took months to notice, but you noticed straightaway that I wasn’t my usual self. I feel awful that Morgana manipulated me so easily. I could have killed Arthur three times over and I couldn’t even fight it. I know I accused you of poisoning him while I was under the enchantment and it makes me feel even worse. I realised then that while I love Arthur as a great friend and love serving our people as queen, I don’t love him as he deserves. And I know he loves you because he notices right away when you aren’t happy and does the best he can to cheer you up. When Morgana kidnapped you he never gave up looking for you despite our protestations that he was putting himself in danger. But he refused to give up. Actually I don’t know how anyone manages not to fall in love with you. I remember I had a really awkward crush on you when I first met you in the courtyard being pelted with rotten fruit and vegetables ten years ago. I’ve noticed how Arthur reserves his goofiest, most genuine smiles for you and I also see how you fight so hard to protect not only his physical life but also his sanity. Morgana didn’t succeed in manipulating you so easily when she put the fomorrah in your neck. You fought it and you didn’t stop until it was destroyed. That’s how I know you love him. You’ve made him a better person. You’ve always been at his side and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Gwen, you’re the best friend a warlock could have”, said Merlin.

“And you and Arthur are the best friends a queen could have”, said Gwen. “I love you both so very much”.

They held each other close and then there was another knock at the door.

“Gwaine!” said Merlin. “How are you?”

“All the better for seeing you mate”, said Gwaine. “How are you?”

“I was a bit confused but I’m better now”, said Merlin.

“Well, our Gwen doesn’t mince words”, said Gwaine. “The Princess was sorting things out with Gaius and Geoffrey to square everything with the council when we left, but he’s probably on his way by now”.

“Thanks Gwaine”, said Merlin.

“No worries mate”, said Gwaine. “I think Gwen and I are growing closer and I think I can bring out her sense of fun. Gods know we all need a bit of fun after everything we went through in the last year, especially Gwen, you and the Princess. I think the four of us are going to make a good team. Percival’s taken a bit of a shine to Lady Vivian and despite King Olaf’s disapproval of any men who’ve approached her in the past, he’s acknowledged that Vivian’s done a lot of growing up in the years since she and Arthur were enchanted, and he’s approved fully.”

“Well it sounds like we’re all going to have the happiness we deserve”, said Merlin, smiling happily. “Let’s have some lunch with mum and drink to our futures”.

The four of them ate, drank, laughed and talked until evening fell and they sat by Hunith’s fire drinking mead that Merlin had produced with his magic (much to Gwaine’s approval) and heated by the fire. Gwaine went out briefly to tend the horses, but came back and sat by Gwen by the fireplace. They were all feeling very warm and happy by the time they fell asleep.

\--------------------- 8 ---------------------

Arthur woke at first light about halfway between the Essetirian border and Ealdor. He’d brought Percival with him for company as well as his own safety, but his journey had been remarkably smooth and bandit-free. He wondered if Merlin’s magic had kept them away and allowed himself a small, contented smile, which momentarily turned into a sudden feeling of apprehension: what if Merlin’s heart had been irreparably broken and he didn’t want to see Arthur? No, he couldn’t think like that, he knew how they felt about each other and had felt it for years, even though they hadn’t said anything to each other about it until just after Camlann, when Arthur thought he was dying. Well, he wasn’t going to shy away from telling Merlin he loved him anymore; shying away had hurt both of them in different ways too much already and they both deserved to be happy. He and Percival finished their breakfast of bread and cheese (they had packed enough food for their journey from the palace kitchens before they left and Cook was only too happy to oblige them when they told her they were going to see Merlin – he was popular with the kitchen staff) and the king checked he still had the Pendragon ring so he could give it to Merlin. They set off at a brisk pace on their horses.

They reached Ealdor quickly and dismounted. Arthur left Percival to secure and tend their horses and knocked the door. Instantly the door was opened and he was pulled into a hug. It was Merlin. Any tension and apprehension he had been feeling melted away and he broke down sobbing into Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin rubbed circles into his back, “Ssh, Arthur, it’s okay, I’m here, I love you”, he said, his own eyes filling with tears.

“Gods, Merlin I’m terrible”, sobbed Arthur, “asking you to marry me without telling me Guinevere and I had broken up, not to mention making you end things with the man you were seeing… I’m such a prat!”

“Hey, it’s okay, I needed to break up with Derek anyway”, soothed Merlin. “I realised he deserves to be happy with someone who could return his feelings. I knew that wasn’t me. And Gwen has told me in no uncertain terms that your marriage is over and she’s happy for us.”

“But my behaviour towards you for the past month, and before… it’s been really horrible and I’m so so sorry! I was worried. You’d just saved my life and taken the dragon poison from my wound into your own body and it was the same poison that killed Morgana. I thought you were going to die! I know you’re more powerful than her but I still thought I was going to lose you and I couldn’t bear it! It came out as awkwardness. And I also felt guilty because I was still married to Guinevere and didn’t know how I was going to reconcile that with my feelings for you. I should have told you we were breaking up as it was happening rather than just ignore you and behave like a prat, especially after I apologised for it when you were looking after me in the aftermath of the battle. It’s the reason I feel like such a hypocrite and there’s no excuse”, lamented Arthur, tears still running down his face.

“I was worried about you too Arthur! If I hadn’t managed to save you and you’d died, I’d have gone mad with grief. You wouldn’t have asked me to marry you if you didn’t love me back”, said Merlin, voice thick with tears still being spent. “I wrote that note because I needed to be honest with you and I needed to be sure of you so we could enter our relationship without the tension that’s been between us lately”.

“I know that now”, said Arthur, “but thought at first that I’d ruined things. I also want to thank you for telling me the truth about Morgana’s involvement in what happened between Guinevere and the Shade version of Lancelot. I can now honour his memory as he deserved and know that there was nothing to forgive them for”.

He knelt in front of Merlin a moment later and said, producing the Pendragon ring:

“Merlin, I have loved you since you first defended that manservant I was using as a moving target and I tried to take your head off with a mace. You are beautiful inside and out, caring and kind and you have saved my life and sanity more times than I can count. Will you do me the honour of becoming my consort?”

Merlin smiled through his tears and said, “with all my heart Arthur”, letting the king put the ring on his finger. Merlin took Arthur’s hand to raise him back to his feet and kissed his tears away and then turned his attention to Arthur’s lips, kissing him gorgeously and gently. Arthur kissed back equally sweetly. They held each other tightly and sighed in contentment. Eventually they broke apart to hear cheering from Gwen, Gwaine, Hunith and Percival.

“Congratulations both” said Gwaine.

“See, I knew you could do it Arthur”, said Gwen, pulling them both into a hug.

“Welcome to the family, your Highness” said Hunith, also embracing them both.

“Couldn’t have happened to a more beautiful couple” said Percival.

\----------------- 8 -------------------

Epilogue – Six months later

Merlin and Arthur lay naked in bed together after a night of slow, lazy lovemaking. They had married almost a fortnight after their return from Ealdor to much joy from the knights, Gwen, Gaius and Hunith, not to mention Merlin’s friends amongst the palace servants (he was very popular amongst them and they were proud of him). The council, at Geoffrey and Gaius’ behest had unanimously given both their approval of the happy union, and the repeal of the ban on magic. Merlin’s coronation as King Consort took place a week later and he was also appointed Assistant Court Warlock to Gaius, who had been an expert on sorcery before the Purge and had also shared his expertise with Merlin for the decade the young warlock had been in Camelot.

The only think now lacking was an heir to the throne. There were several options available of course. Merlin could find a spell to enable himself to become pregnant; they could invite a woman into their bed; they could ask Gwen or Lady Vivian (who was now seeing Percival and was a frequent visitor) if one of them was willing to carry a baby for them, or they could adopt.

Arthur asked, “Merlin, how do you feel about adopting a child, to give us an heir?”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t want a baby from Gwen, Vivian or another woman’s womb? Or I could even find a spell to enable myself to get pregnant?”, asked Merlin.

“Well, my love”, replied Arthur, “I think there are children in the kingdom who are vulnerable and in need of a home. What better home would they have than ours? And our heir doesn’t have to be blood-related… so far, the blood relations I’ve known haven’t been all that great anyway. And besides, my father conquered this kingdom rather than inherited it. Any child of ours, blood-related or not would still be a Pendragon because we would be raising him.”

“Or her”, said Merlin.

“Yes, or her”, replied Arthur.

“In that case, adoption it is!”, said Merlin. “Gods, I love you Arthur Pendragon”.

“I love you too Merlin Emrys Pendragon”, said Arthur.

And then they kissed passionately.

The End.


End file.
